The Girls Are On The Beach In Their String Bikinis

The Guys Are Struttig Proudly Showing Off Their Weenies

Top 40 Garbage Spewing Expensive Radios

As They Primp Their Pampered Bodies

And Put Schnozzguard On Their Nose

This Ain't Hawaii [x4]

Prep School Blondes And Musclemen With Perfect Heinies

There's More Money On This Beach Than All The Tea In China

Thie Girls All Look Like Nancy Drew, The Boys Like Jim McMahon

And Their Fat, White, Ugly Parents Look Like Morey Amsterdam

This Ain't Hawaii [x4]

In Droves They Hit The Beach In Porches And Ferraris

The Sun Has Cooked Their Brain They're On A Surf Safari

The Lake Is Full Of Creepy Snobs, I Stare To Get Annoyed

This Isn't Honolulu, This Is Illinois

They're Surfing In Wilmette