Draft Dodger RagPhil OchsWritten By Phil OchsOh, I'm Just A Typical American Boy From A Typical American TownI Believe In God And Senator Dodd And A-keepin' Old Castro DownAnd When It Came My Time To Serve I Knew "better Dead Than Red"But When I Got To My Old Draft Board, Buddy, This Is What I Said: CHORUS Sarge, I'm Only Eighteen, I Got A Ruptured Spleen And I Always Carry A Purse I Got Eyes Like A Bat, And My Feet Are Flat, And My Asthma's Getting Worse Yes, Think Of My Career, My Sweetheart Dear, And My Poor Old Invalid Aunt Besides, I Ain't No Fool, I'm A-goin' To School And I'm Working In A DEE-fense PlantI've Got A Dislocated Disc And A Wracked Up BackI'm Allergic To Flowers And BugsAnd When The Bombshell Hits, I Get Epileptic FitsAnd I'm Addicted To A Thousand DrugsI Got The Weakness Woes, I Can't Touch My ToesI Can Hardly Reach My KneesAnd If The Enemy Came Close To MeI'd Probably Start To Sneeze I'm Only Eighteen, I Got A Ruptured Spleen And I Always Carry A Purse I Got Eyes Like A Bat, And My Feet Are Flat, And My Asthma's Getting Worse Yes, Think Of My Career, My Sweetheart Dear, And My Poor Old Invalid Aunt Besides, I Ain't No Fool, I'm A-goin' To School And I'm Working In A DEE-fense PlantOoh, I Hate Chou En Lai, And I Hope He Dies,Onething You Gotta SeeThat Someone's Gotta Go Over ThereAnd That Someone Isn't MeSo I Wish You Well, Sarge, Give 'em Hell!Kill Me A Thousand Or SoAnd If You Ever Get A War Without Blood And GoreI'll Be The First To Go Yes, I'm Only Eighteen, I Got A Ruptured Spleen And I Always Carry A Purse I Got Eyes Like A Bat, And My Feet Are Flat, And My Asthma's Getting Worse Yes, Think Of My Career, My Sweetheart Dear, And My Poor Old Invalid Aunt Besides, I Ain't No Fool, I'm A-goin' To School And I'm Working In A DEE-fense Plant