I Met Him At A Party And He Told Me How To Drive Him Home
He Said He Liked To Do It Backwards
I Said, "That's Just Fine With Me,
That Way We Can Fuck And Watch TV."

It Was Four A.m. And The Light Was Gray, Like It Always Is In Paperbacks
He Asked If I Liked Playing Jacks
I Told Him That I Was Good To Sixes
But All Hell Broke Loose After That

I Told Him That I Knew Julia Roberts When I Was Twelve At Summer Camp
We Didn't Say Anything After That
I Dropped Him Off And I Drove On Home
'Cause Secretly I'm Timid