Johnny:
This Town Is Full Of Guys
Who Think They're Mighty Wise
Just Because They Know A Thing Or Two.

Bobby:
You'll Meet Them Night And Day
Strollin' Up And Down Broadway
Telling Of The Wonders They Can Do.

Johnny:
Oh, Sing It, Bobby Boy!

Bobby:
I Just Did!

Johnny:
There's Con Men And There's Boosters.

Bobby:
There's Card Sharks And Crapshooters.

Johnny:
They Congregate Around The Metropole.

Bobby:
If I Knew What That Meant I Would Agree With Him.
They Wear Flashy Ties And Collars.

Johnny:
Yes, But Where Do They Get There Dollars?

Both:
They All Have Got An Ace Down In The Hole.

Johnny:
Yes, And Some Of Them Write
To The Old Folks For Coin
And That Is Their Ace In The Hole.

Bobby:
And Others Have Friends On The Old Tenderloin
That's Their Old Ace In The Hole.

Johnny:
Why, They'll Tell You Of Trips
That They're Going To Make
From Florida
To The North Pole.

Bobby:
The Fact Is Their Name Would Be Mud
Just Like A Chum Playin' Stud.

Both:
If They Lost That Old Ace In The Hole.

Johnny:
Oh, Yes, Now, Some Of Them Write
You'll Find A Lot Of Them Write To The …

Bobby:
Just A Minute, Just A Minute, Let The Man Play His Piano Solo.

Johnny:
But, I Want To Sing Tenor!

Bobby:
I Don't Really Care If You Sing Ten Or Twenty Minutes, After He's Through Playin' Piano.

Johnny:
Listen Too 'em, I Think I Make It Better Than He Does.

Bobby:
Well, That's The Nastiest Remark I've Ever Heard.

Both:
Listen Now, If You Don't Like The Way I Sing, Why Don't You Sing …
I Think ...
Sing Melancholy Baby! Sing Something! ...

Bobby:
Why They Tell You Of The Trips
They're Gonna Make
Over To Florida
All The Way Up To The North Pole.

Johnny:
Oh, It's Sad, Sad.

Bobby:
Volare!!

Johnny:
But, Their Names Would Be Mud.

Bobby:
Like A Chump Playin' Stud.

Both:
If They Lost
That Old Ace
Ace In The Hole.

Bobby:
Have Another Drink.